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Feb, 2015

Travel Soccer Isn't the World Cup

Soccer Sideline Etiquette for Parents

We all recognize that soccer is a very passionate game - for players and fans.

But when it comes to youth soccer, the soccer pitch can bring out some of the worst instincts that we have.

We all want our sons and daughters to play, to play hard, to play well, and have fun. We want them to be well coached, play on a team that is competitive in their category, and benefit in a host of ways from being involved in competitive athletics.

Yet we, as parents, sometimes undercut how much fun our kids have, and how much they will actually benefit.

This happens by and through our behaviour, especially during games.

So with the fall soccer season underway, here is a primer, a reminder, of little things that we can do on the sidelines to make the soccer season more pleasant for all concerned - most importantly, for the kids.

8 things to keep in mind while watching from the sidelines this summer:

1. Let the coaches' coach. If you are telling your son or daughter - or any other player for that matter - to do something different from what their coach is telling them, you create distraction and confusion.

2. It is very unnerving for many young players to try and perform difficult tasks on the field on the spur of the moment when parents are yelling at them from the sidelines. Let the kids play. If they have been well coached, they should know what to do on the field. If they make a mistake, chances are they will learn from it.

3. Do not discuss the play of specific young players in front of other parents. How many times do you hear comments such as, "I don't know how that boy made this team...." or "she's just not fast enough..." Too many parents act as though their child is a ‘star', and the problem is someone else's kid. Negative comments and attitudes are hurtful and totally unnecessary and kill parent harmony, which is often essential to youth team success.

4. Discourage such toxic behaviour by listening patiently to any negative comments that might be made, then address issues in a positive way. Speak to the positive qualities of a player, family or coach.

5. Do your level best not to complain about your son or daughter's coaches to other parents. Once that starts, it is like a disease that spreads. Before you know it, parents are talking constantly in a negative way behind a coach's back. (As an aside, if you have what you truly feel is a legitimate beef with your child's coach - either regarding game strategy or playing time, arrange an appointment to meet privately, away from a soccer field.)

6. Make positive comments from the sideline. Be encouraging. Young athletes do not need to be reminded constantly about their perceived errors or mistakes. Their coaches will instruct them, either during the game or at half-time, and during practices. You can often see a young player make that extra effort when they hear encouraging words from the sideline about their hustle.

7. Avoid making any negative comments about players on the other team. This should be simple: we are talking about youngsters, not adults who are being paid to play professionally. I recall being at a rep baseball game some years ago, when a parent on one team loudly made comments about errors made by a particular young player on the other team. People on the other side of the diamond were stunned - and angry. Besides being tasteless and classless, these kinds of comments can be hurtful to the young person involved and to their family as well.

8. Try to keep interaction with parents on the other team as healthy and positive as possible. Who's kidding whom? You want your child's team to win. So do they. But that should not make us take leave of our senses, especially our common sense. Be courteous ‘till it hurts; avoid the ‘tit for tat' syndrome.